Life is full of crazy obstacles, but
the one that will probably bug
you the most and always be
getting in the way is the
opposite gender. Here, from one
sister to another, is a Muslim
girl’s guide for how to deal with
guys.
1 ) No Touching:- Muslims are
forbidden to touch any non-
Mahram (Mahram is your dad,
brothers, father-in-law,
husbands, grandfathers, and the
siblings of your parents) person
of the opposite gender. That
means no patting on the back,
no hand shaking, no pushing, no
shoving, no holding hands, and
obviously no kissing and all that.
If you ’re in a difficult situation
where you think someone will
try to shake your hand, the best
thing to do is just smile and say,
"My people don ’t shake hands"
and then explain why. And why,
is because we believe a
woman ’s touch is a privilege
and she doesn’t just share it
with anyone.
2) No Flirting:- Not even with
Muslims, not even in an Islamic
school, especially not in a
masjid! Flirting means that
you ’re saying or doing things on
purpose that make the other
person attracted to you. There’s
no set criterion for what flirting
is, but any girl knows what is
and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to
behave better than the average
woman, who has to be beautiful
for all the men around her all
the time, who are trapped
behind their looks and only
judge themselves to be worthy
if half the men they know are in
love with them. A wise dude
once said, "Don ’t start the
mower unless you intend to cut
the grass". If you don ’t want a
guy’s advances, then don’t do
anything to earn them. There’s
no point in throwing yourself all
over guys and trying to seduce
half the world. You really only
want to marry one guy, and you
want to spend the rest of your
life with him, and chances are
he isn’t going to be some dork
you fluttered your eyelashes at
in high school.
3) No Boyfriends:- As a Muslim,
you know that having a
boyfriend is haraam because it
counts as Zina - fornication.
Fornication, in easy English,
means ‘sexual sin’. Allah
expressly forbids romantic or
sexual relationships outside of
marriage. When people go
against that rule, then you get
the typical western society
where people play sexual merry-
go-round with each other,
giving each other STDs, using
and abusing each other, and
destroying the sacredness of
marriage as an institution. You
can ’t even be sort of engaged to
a guy, and then "date" to get to
know each other. In Islam, non-
Mahram men and women aren ’t
allowed to be alone together
(that includes talking on the
phone!), to touch (not even
shake hands), or even gaze at
each other. It doesn ’t matter if
the guy you like is Muslim, a
great guy and the Prince of
England, you can ’t date him.
4) No Boy—friends:- The easiest
way to ensure that you don’t
end up falling in love with some
guy before you ’re ready to get
married is to avoid making
friends with boys. Of course in
school you have to interact with
boys all over the place, but that
doesn ’t mean you should be
best buds with them. Probably
90% of relationships begin from
friendships. Chances are you ’re
not ready for marriage, your
parents aren ’t ready to let you
get married, you’re still in
school and your crush is not the
sort of fellow you want to
spend the rest of your life with,
so just avoid being friends with
him in the first place. It really is
the best formula for saving
yourself from needless
temptation.
When you have to talk to boys
in school as teammates, lab
partners, group members, and
peers, it's best to maintain a
distance. That means that you
don ’t confide in them, you don’t
let down your guard, you don’t
unnecessarily engage them in
needless conversation, don ’t
joke around, and never flirt.
Yeah it may be a little hard, but
this is your afterlife we ’re
talking about. So many great
sisters have put themselves in
really sticky situations because
they allowed a boy to get to
know them, and either ended up
liking the boy, or having the boy
like them. once that happens
you either end up becoming a
pair (which is HARAAM!), or
having to end your friendship.
Instead of letting it get to that
point, and then having to kill a
friendship that you probably
worked hard on cultivating, you
should just stop it before it
begins. There are plenty of great
girls all around who can be your
friends and if you really think
only a guy will understand your
problem, then talk to your REAL
brother, or your father, or an
uncle.
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